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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29101563">The Light In The Dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrdxst/pseuds/starrdxst'>starrdxst</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drinking, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:35:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29101563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrdxst/pseuds/starrdxst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader is pregnant and avoids drinking at a small family dinner which causes questions to rise // Joel isn't handling it well so reader gives him reassurance</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joel (The Last of Us)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Light In The Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted on my wattpad<br/>-starrdxst </p><p>Originally posted on my tumblr<br/>joelsgeetar</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sound of laughter and distant conversations makes you grin, truly feeling happy about tonight. It's been a long time since everyone got together and actually spent time with each other. Small waves and nods aren't enough these days - you could lose a loved one at any minute. You used this reason to help get Joel in the right mood for it. Knowing he wasn't very social, you told him Ellie would be there. Their relationship may be strained now but he takes any chance he gets to at least be near her. There was no way he'd say no to that. </p><p>"Did you grab a plate already?" A gruff voice mumbles from behind and you immediately know who it belongs to. Of course, its Joel. </p><p>You turn around slightly to give a small smile and nod of your head to answer his question. You ate before everyone showed up. Joel still pushed you to at least grab dessert and you refused quietly. The smell of all the foods alone made you feel nauseous. It's a mixture of anxiety as well from hiding your pregnancy from the man you've been with for the past few years. You love him - You're deeply in love. That guilt keeps you emotionally distant. </p><p>Joel rubs your lower back - his large yet comfortable hand getting closer to your belly. Although you're not quite showing it still worries you so as a natural reaction you slip away from his touch. This makes him give you a funny look but doesn't say anything. Not yet.</p><p>Within an hour, you're all in the dining room passing drinks around. It's a Saturday night and that's a perfect reason for everyone. This past month has been hard on you all. Harsh weather, the safety of Jackson being tested by ambushes left and right, broken families and more. Tonight is supposed to be about forgetting it all even if it's only for a few hours. If you weren't secretly carrying a child inside of you, you'd take a nice glass of wine with the other women. The younger adults such as Jesse, Dina, and Ellie snatched the hard drinks - the liquor hitting their system more than expected. Most of the men drink their favorite homemade beer - Joel being one of them. He isn't one to get drunk, only a buzz to feel more relaxed in a social event. </p><p>Dina and Jesse sit beside you sharing gossip. It's nice at first when they make you laugh about random things. You even get into some of your own drama telling them things you've had on your chest for a while now. Ellie joins in shortly after with a small smile, her tattoo now complete from the last time you've seen her this close. She avoided you just as much when Joel told her the truth. It hurt but you understood everyone has different ways of healing. Surprisingly, she asks Jesse to switch her spots so she can be next to you like old times. You missed this so much you began to feel emotional. You bite your tongue to focus on Ellie. You don't know this but Joel is watching from the other room like a hawk. He isn't angry, no, only feeling desperate to know what the two of you are talking about. He's been wanting a conversation with her for literal years now. A part of you feels guilty about the situation. Ellie must have noticed because she nudges your side, asking you if you were listening. </p><p>You nod giving a quick smile. She doesn't buy it. She sighs softly and looks over at Dina who already had the same idea. You're confused as to what's going on. Before you can say no Dina is pouring you a glass of wine, passing it to you with a cocky grin. Her eyes glossy from her own buzz. Ellie leans back and sips on her drink, eyeing you trying to figure out what's wrong.</p><p>"Go ahead, Y/N. One night of fun won't kill you. I can tell you're stressed so c'mon, girly." Dina smiles again this time being more sweet. Her eyes stay focused on you and your hand - not reaching for the glass that she slid to you.</p><p>Being pressured by teens wasn't what you expected at all tonight. Of course they're great kids it's just out of your comfort zone to see them like this already. It seems like yesterday they were still drawing and playing in the small park using their imagination. Now they're asking you to drink with them. Not only that, they are asking you while you're pregnant. Your heart starts to beat harder now. Your throat closes more. You might have a breakdown.</p><p>As if to make it worse, Joel is now in view taking a seat across from you next to his brother. He glanced at you a few times knowingly. Joel always has a gut feeling when things aren't well with you. And right now that makes you not so happy. </p><p>You finally take a breath and push away the wine shaking your head at the offer, "I can't drink tonight, sorry." Is all you could say right now with Joel being so close to you. </p><p>Then you focus on his watch. Sarah Miller - his late daughter that remains so close to him everywhere he goes. Joel never took it off, not even to sleep or shower. That guilt rises again.</p><p>You know deep down he deserves to know. You need to admit it yourself, too. You're pregnant with his child and constantly pushing him away. It's not fair, you know this. So the moment Ellie asks why you can't drink, you break down the walls and reveal the truth. It seemed so quiet like a mouse but from the reactions you've got, it was obvious they heard every word clearly. </p><p>Dina is the first to apologize for pushing you to drink while Ellie is still in shock but happy for you. She still keeps Joel out of the picture and keeps her thoughts stuck on you specifically. You're going to be an amazing mother, she thinks. Everyone gives you a congratulations. The sound of glass on glass rings in your ears as they all take a small shot as a celebration. Well, not everyone. Joel had already pushed his bottle of beer away from him to stand up, leaving the room in a hurry. He finds his way back outside to get some fresh air, to calm his mind and really take in what he just heard. </p><p>You respectfully get up and leave to check on him. A knot in your stomach only gets tighter the closer you get to him. You weren't afraid of Joel, you were afraid of losing him because of this. He has every right to be mad at you for not telling him sooner, you believe.</p><p>"Joel?" Opening the door that leads outside, your met with a cold chill from the wind. He's lightly leaned over the ledge, perhaps feeling sick with the way he is breathing. </p><p>Your voice makes him close his eyes tightly to hold back any tears. He isn't mad at you. He isn't upset at you for not telling him sooner. Joel is instead stuck in his past - already worried about losing this child. It makes him feel sick. Without thinking you walk up to him wrapping your arms around his middle from behind not ready to face him just yet. You expect Joel to be cold and push you off but you're caught off guard when he brings one of his hands to yours, rubbing it affectionately. Then it's a firm grip. You take notice of his breathing pattern. It's shaken up and uneven. </p><p>Taking a step back and walking to his side now you grab his hand that's gripping the ledge of the porch, his arm unsteady as it has a light tremble. You whisper his name again. This time he looks at you, his eyes soft on yours. Joel doesn't keep eye contact for long though. He looks back down when a low mumble leaves his mouth. You know what he said from being around him for so long. You remember how quiet he was the first few months he knew you, it was almost impossible to hear what exactly he said. But now his mumbles are comfort and easy to understand.</p><p>"You've been avoiding me 'cause of that.. Why?" Joel looks back at you with his final word, the question real and sentimental. He isn't looking at you like he would normally during serious conversations. It's delicate - almost hurt. </p><p>You sigh looking out now like he did before. With another puff of air you shrug, "I was scared. Scared that you- That you wouldn't want to keep it."</p><p>Joel feels his chest sting at your reply. Sure, he can be cold sometimes. Put on this tough act. However on the inside, he is scared of failure. While he has bitter feelings towards the idea of having children at his age and at this state of the world it's in, there is no way in hell he would make you have an abortion or force you to give it up.</p><p>"I wouldn't do that to you, you know that." </p><p>"Yeah, I know."</p><p>Silence falls over for a couple mintues. His bottom lip trembled at the thought of it again. The possibility of failure, not being able to protect them, leaving them. </p><p>You catch onto his state of mind and force your way into his jacket wrapping your arms around him again. Your words are muffled by his broad chest, "You're a wonderful father to your girls. Nothing will ever change that." </p><p>You were right. Joel is definitely the best he can be for his girls. One is gone but he still loves her and thinks about her every day, every night before bed. One is growing up and away from his reach yet he still feels proud of her life accomplishments. He still loves her as his own even when she passes by him without a word. </p><p>This was enough for Joel. That extra comfort you gave him helped more than he'd ever admit out loud to you. You don't need him to do that though because you know how much he needed it later that night. </p><p>The night ended in everyone sharing happiness. Once late enough, they all go home with a hangover waiting for them in the morning. </p><p>Y/N, even though she was beyond exhausted, she took Joel to their room to show her man just how much she loved him. Showed him it'll all be okay - that he's going to be perfect at this thing called parenting.</p>
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